and no comfort in the growing zone."
this was a thought shared at institute tonight, and it really rang true to me.
the past month has been a whirlwind of discomfort. rewind to november of last year. i finally had the opportunity to start my mission papers. i had been waiting 2 and a half years; i was gung-ho and ready to go. i had them nearly finished in february, when i decided to stop, and pursue a relationship with a guy i had been dating on and off. i told my bishop that i wasn't going anymore, but thank heavens for his wisdom in "putting them on hold for a while." about a month ago, i broke it off with said boy. as serious as we were getting, and as much fun as we were having, it didn't feel right. i thought that it just wasn't what i wanted.
but it was hard.
i prayed and i prayed, and realized i needed a pretty big change. after pondering and praying, i decided that i wanted to move with a best friend to rexburg in the fall. the next sunday was indepence day. also, it was fast sunday. double perfect.
my prayer that day went a little like this:
"Heavenly Father, i want to move to rexburg with caitlin. i feel like this is a good choice, but if it's not, let me know."
that day was soooo wonderfully spiritual. i thought for sure that it was heavenly father's confirming my choice. later that night, i was driving back from fireworks with two gentleman friends, one of whom i hadn't seen in years. the other asked me if i was still planning on going on a mission, and i replied that i wasn't quite sure yet. the friend-i-hadn't-seen-in-years went on to tell me how amazing and life-changing his mission was.
"okay, heavenly father, i get it."
soo fast forward to now.
i'm almost done with all the forms (one stupid form to go), and i am just so darn excited.
i'msograteful that heavenly father has the faith and confidence in me to trust me with such a great responsibility.
iamgratefulfor my testimony of the gospel of jesus christ.
iamespeciallygrateful for the atonement of jesus christ, that he suffered and died not just for my sins and mistakes, but for every hurt, pain, and negative feeling that i've felt. he knows what it's like to be lactose intolerant, or to stub a toe. he also knows how much breakups suck. and he knows what it's like to feel alone. last, but definitely not least, he knows me. he knows how i tick, and what i need. he knows me better than i know myself, and for that i am eternally grateful.
